What if the goal is not to agree, but instead to see and be seen?

Keywords: covid 19 , archives , conflict , connection , conversation , couple , couples , featured , feelings , marriage , relationship , relationship tips , relationships , repair , understanding

What really helps us stay relationally connected is to experience being seen and heard, while also being accepted. This stimulates coherence in the limbic system – the emotional and attachment parts of our brains. In other words, when we’re aware that our inner reality is mirrored, known, and welcomed, it deepens our sense of belonging and security.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-disagree

Allow yourselves to be a part of each other’s lives and lifestyles because nothing matters more than understanding someone’s way of life because that can either make you or break you as partners

I don’t believe that males and females can be just friends without something having been there or someone wishing circumstances were different and I always tell this to my boyfriend I am very uncomfortable with him having a deeper understanding and connection with his female friends then that he has or could ever develop for me. Now I cannot say society has influenced this feeling/decision but it has been experiences and that for me is an opinion that no one can change and one that I influence upon society because of the lack of mental and emotional relationships between partners.

https://yougottacrawlfirst.wordpress.com/2020/07/05/mental-connections-vs-societys-influence

Your intimate relationship with yourself is extremely important and should be nurtured prior to nurturing other relationships

Keywords: philosophy , friendships , intimacy , love , relationships

Intimacy offers a way for humans to connect authentically, and our authentic selves should not be limited to experiencing intimacy with a sole romantic partner. Expecting one relationship to fulfill every type of intimacy we crave is the emotional manifestation of putting all of our intimacy eggs in one basket. Developing intimacy in every relationship we have, beginning with ourselves, can fulfill our needs and desires in a way that doesn’t place responsibility for intimacy solely on our romantic partners.

https://bambooandbananas.org/a-lesson-on-intimacy

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Counter Culture

“In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong” – Matthew 5:36-37 (MSG)

My husband and I just recently got ourselves a pair of finger tattoos. When we showed them to people their reaction was, “whoa, that’s permanent”. They were shocked that we would mark our bodies with a choice that we can’t go back from. Which they are so totally right about, BUT…

The vows I spoke on my wedding day are just as permanent and binding as the ink on my finger. And that got me thinking about how little importance we actually put on the words we speak, not much less the vows we give.

I think we have forgotten the importance and weight of our words, and the power they hold. We throw around promises, vows…

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The Just-World Belief System

justice , psychology , social psychology , victim blaming , victims

Beyond Bounds

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Do you believe you reap what you sow? Or maybe, what goes around comes around? Such figures of speech, that suggest inevitable retaliation, are part of a just-world belief system.

Those who have been raised in a religious context, or are aware of it, understand that good people go to heaven and sinners go to hell. They are taught that we have consequences for our actions and thoughts. Similarly, we have been systematically conditioned in schools that we get punished when we misbehave and we get rewarded if we’re compliant. You grow up with the assumption or association that when you do good things, you get rewarded and when you do bad things, you get punished.

This might explain why some people accuse poor people of being lazy. They believe that disadvantaged groups are the way they are as a consequence…

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