Why did you not love me the way I deserved to be loved?

Keywords: break ups , hurt , love , pain

After so many years, I decided to wake up from this daze called love, or if it was really love. I decided to take a stand and walk out. I can’t forget everything I’ve been through and though it pains me to leave, I know I had to. I wasn’t loved the way I was supposed to. I wasn’t cared for the way I wanted. I was not respected the way I deserved. Every day I wonder did I make the right decision but the universe as a way to right it’s wrongs. It reminds me everyday that I did the right thing. It shows me and tells me that you see, he didn’t deserve you. All that love gone to waste but don’t fear my child, I got you.

https://lotusfuly.home.blog/2019/01/24/when-it-all-fell-apart

It is SO easy to lose yourself when you’re with someone

Keywords: divorce , love , valentines day

I have begun to realize that I actually really like myself. I don’t mean that in some arrogant, I’m awesome way. I like that I can make people laugh, I like that I can do things by myself, I like that people come to me for advice, I like that sometimes all I want to do is lay in bed and read. There’s a saying that says you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. While I don’t entirely agree with that premise, I do think that you need to know yourself and what you stand for before you can be in a fulfilling relationship. If you don’t fully know you, how can you expect another person to?

https://lifeloveandlemons820013512.wordpress.com/2021/02/14/single-on-purpose

I was advised NOT to be in a romantic relationship for at LEAST a year into recovery

Keywords: recovery , anorexia , bible , catholic , christianity , faith , family , fitness , god , healing , jesus , life , love , prayer

I finally understand now, why. Because I had to have a total and complete control over taking care of myself, my needs, my recovery, my self worth. I needed to be airtight, steady, totally and completely bulletproof to any lingering “ED issues” before I could invite someone else into my heart and relinquish control over many of those emotional areas.

https://beautybeyondbones.com/2021/03/25/making-room-in-my-heart-for-love

Something really special and amazing came out of this ugliness, and I’m so thankful for it

Keywords: domestic abuse , domestic violence , drug abuse , gaslighting , healing , love hate , love bombing , narcissism , recovery , relationship trauma , relationships , uncategorized , domestic violence , love hate , narcissistic abuse , relationship trauma

I had everything just how and where I wanted it. I had a fruitful and fulfilling career, nice ride, clean and beautifully decorated apartment in the heart of the Bay Area, lifelong and loyal friends, kids all doing well…. I felt at the top of my game. I decided out-of-nowhere, that I wanted to be married. So, since my longtime lover and I had to part ways, I thought it would be a good time for me to try to meet someone I could make a life with.

https://beautybeyondthebeast.com/2020/12/06/home-sweetest-home

Honor those relationships [with the people I cared most about] with respect, honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness

Keywords: recovery , anorexia , bible , catholic , christianity , eating disorder , faith , family , fitness , god , jesus , life , love , mental health

And admitting wrongs and making amends when we fall short and hurt those people in ways big or small, no matter how humbling that may be.

https://beautybeyondbones.com/2020/09/28/making-amends