Something really special and amazing came out of this ugliness, and I’m so thankful for it

Keywords: domestic abuse , domestic violence , drug abuse , gaslighting , healing , love hate , love bombing , narcissism , recovery , relationship trauma , relationships , uncategorized , domestic violence , love hate , narcissistic abuse , relationship trauma

I had everything just how and where I wanted it. I had a fruitful and fulfilling career, nice ride, clean and beautifully decorated apartment in the heart of the Bay Area, lifelong and loyal friends, kids all doing well…. I felt at the top of my game. I decided out-of-nowhere, that I wanted to be married. So, since my longtime lover and I had to part ways, I thought it would be a good time for me to try to meet someone I could make a life with.

https://beautybeyondthebeast.com/2020/12/06/home-sweetest-home

Dates and meaning

ainsobriety

I believe that much of our suffering results from the meaning we give things. Meaning that has no read basis. It is subjective. As things change, the meaning changes.

Today is my 20 year wedding anniversary. Of course, craig and I are well on the way to getting divorced and there will be no celebrating.

I wondered this morning if I should feel more sad. The past 6 months have been filled with a wide range of emotion from excruciating heartbreak to anger, disappointment to self confidence. I embrace the liberation of being in charge with no one else to accommodate.

It is earth shattering to have the person you love choose to betray you. It is a huge blow to one’s ego. It opens the door to questioning my worthiness and my value. Is something wrong with me that he would hurt me so badly?

Bu in the end…

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